by Tisha Morris
 
In the documentary film, The Story of Stuff, Annie Leonard examines our national obsession with stuff and how it all began.  She attributes our consumption addiction to the post-World War III economic policies that propagandized the notion of buying stuff.  Our insatiable appetites haven’t been able to stop since.  That is, until now.
With the decline of the economy – whether directly affected or not – we have all started to take pause before making a purchase.  More importantly, we are beginning to take inventory of the stuff that we do have.  Even more so, we are beginning to feel taken over by all the stuff that we have accumulated over the decades, which is why so many of us are having the urge to purge or declutter our homes.
But is it as easy as making some runs to Goodwill?
Of course not.
Why?
We have become addicted, or emotionally attached, to our stuff. 
Buying and accumulating stuff is just another way to distract ourselves from our present lives.  Like cigarettes or alcohol, it is a quick fix to feeling good.  But when the high wears off, we are left with an icky feeling.  But we need the icky feeling so that we can punish ourselves and perpetuate our guilt.  And then we need the high again so that we don’t feel the pain, and the circle continues. 
Is this an overreaction to buying a new toaster?  Maybe.  But consumption can be an addiction (or at the least an emotional attachment) that, unlike cigarettes and alcohol, is hard to recognize because it is so affirmed by our friends, family, media, and government. 
So how do we detach from our stuff?
Knowledge is power.  Knowing what and why we are attached to our stuff or certain items will oftentimes break the emotional attachment with our stuff.  For some of us, having a lot of stuff is simply a distraction from our everyday life.  A cluttered space results in a cluttered mind, which is exactly what some of us want, at least subconsciously.  In the same way alcohol makes things fuzzy, having a lot of things in your space will do the same.  And on some level, that is the desired outcome.  If this resonates with you, then bring awareness to it.  (If you are highly resistant to this idea, then you might want to take a second look.) 
For many of us, it is certain items that are difficult to part with.  It may be books and magazines for some or old pictures, clothes, gifts, collections, etc. for others.  Either way, if you don’t love the item(s) or don’t use it, then it is time to part with it.  If you are still having resistance, then it’s time to acknowledge an emotional attachment to the item….
Start asking yourself questions.
What am I feeling right now?
What memories does this item bring up?
Who gave it to me?
Why did I originally buy it?
Who does it remind me of?
Do I feel guilty getting rid of this item?  If so, why? 
Why?
Why?
And Why?
Be your own detective… or therapist.  Get to the root of why you are hanging on to an item that you know would be in your best interest to get rid of.  You may be surprised.  What you thought was just an old hairbrush may actually be a reservoir of past emotions that you and your sister shared when she helped you get ready for prom.  Or maybe the green gingham shirt with the price tag on it conjures up guilt for buying things that are on sale and never wearing them.  Until acknowledged, the shirt will hang in your closet serving only to attract the pattern for more guilt.
Once you have awareness around an item, you will be amazed at how easy it will be to let go of it.  If you have the awareness but still don’t want to get rid of the item, then it may simply be too early.  See how you feel the next round of decluttering. 
To start the process of decluttering, I recommend working in baby steps with attainable goals as I set out in 5 Steps to Clearing Clutter.   You will build up the confidence that will keep you going through the long haul.  Once you realize that life will go on with fewer items, you will not only want to clear out more stuff, but will start to feel free.
And when you feel this sense of freedom you know you have mastered the art of detaching from your stuff.

Title: 27 Things To Feng Shui Your Home
Author: Tisha Morris
Turner Publishing Company
ISBN: 978-1-59652-567-2
Price: $9.99
184 pages
Self-help genre
Purchase on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1596525673/?tag=writeoncreati-20

 
Back cover:
 
“If you want to change your life, move 27 things in your home.” This ancient Chinese proverb speaks of the powerful connection our homes have with our lives. In 27 Things to Feng Shui Your Home, Tisha Morris shows in creative, basic steps how to use the art of feng shui to create an inviting, personal atmosphere in your home that will renovate your life.
 
Discover how to:
•         Manageably clear clutter to optimize space
•         Use lighting, color, and simple objects to create good energy flow
•         Space clear to promote good health
•         Integrate the five elements into your home to create harmony

By Amy Cook Porter

On KRDO’s morning show today (May 9, 6:00 am) they talked about Spokeo.com.  It is a website that gathers your personal information from all of the social media sites as well as your address and credit information.  It also claims to gather photos as well.  Most of the photos on my profile were not mine. 

What worries me, besides having my address available, is that it also has credit info as well as all my personal likes and dislikes.  This is way too much personal information available to people I don’t know. 

• While some may tell you it’s harmless, from a business perspective, it’s not.  While there was nothing on there that was bad, my credit info shouldn’t be available to just anyone.   
• From a potential employer’s perspective, I can see information and pictures that tells me about your lifestyle.  That could prevent me from hiring you, cost you your job or at least have a discussion on your lifestyle and how it effects my business.   
• Identity theft – KRDO was amazed at all the information (for a price) that someone could learn about you.  With very little searching, they would know enough about you to re-create you on a credit app or in another city. 
• And if you had a personal stalker, as our daughter would say, “It’s a creeper’s dream.”  They would have your address, pictures, likes and dislikes.

Not everyone has a current profile on this site – and I was amazed how many of you do.  Take the time to check and check for your friends and family.  If they are there, suggest that they go to the link and look around.  It is ok for them to choose to invoke their privacy.

For those not sure whether to believe me, here is the Snopes link:  www.snopes.com/computer/internet/spokeo.asp

Rachael Jayne Groover
The YIN Project
www.TheYinProject.com
 
Holidays can be one of the hardest times of the year if you are single. I know that first-hand. If you find yourself this year without a partner I urge you not to retreat on your own, but to look around you. How many couples do you see having a committed, sexy, fun, spiritually-enhancing relationship?  Not many? If you know some, carve out time to be around them this season.  Like just about anything else, the more knowledge and positive role models you have around you, the more chance of success you have. Take a moment, right now, and write their names down so you remember to connect with them. Ask them questions about their relationship.  The more you see positive, passionate, conscious couples, the more you will believe that you can be part of one too.
In the past, Datta and I both had our fair share of lonely holidays, confusion and heart-break. We had to overcome limiting beliefs that said, “The odds of finding a partner who fits with us in all areas of life are very low.” We are grateful to now be able to pin-point the specific things that shifted everything for us. Within months of these shifts occurring, we started dating each other. Our passion and love has been growing ever since.
If you long for an extraordinary love affair that will sweep you off your feet, we are here as an example that it is ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE.  However, you must take an honest look at your readiness and what you are energetically communicating to others. Above all, you must understand what not only attracts, but feeds the opposite gender over the long haul. Couples who are in love and still have the passion flowing can help you with this.

This year we set time aside to share all we know about becoming ready for this type of relationship.
Rachael Jayne Groover is running a Home Study Program on www.MoreThanDating.com

Comments:
When I first read Rachel’s article I had to smiles.  Paul and I have been together close to twenty years.  A passionate holiday season – well there was the year we stayed up to put together something – a bike or something that the box said, even a kindergartener can do it – it did heat up when it was apparent that we would have to find a kindergartener to put it together.
I do agree – find a loving couple or family to enjoy the holidays with and emulate.  The love comes from preparing for the holidays together and instilling traditions.  Whether it’s the cooking and baking or the cleaning or decorating or singing – they all come together to create the memories filled with love.
If you are feeling lonely and unloved, then get up and do something about it.  You won’t meet your partner hiding inside your house or hanging out online.  You can connect online with someone, but they too are lonely and unhappy and they too are probably too afraid to leave their house. 
This Christmas, if you are feeling lonely, find out where all the Community Christmas events are being hosted and go volunteer.  Talk to people.  Laugh with them.  Sing with them.  It will help you feel apart of the holiday.

When you are feeling more relaxed, more joyous you will attract people into your life.  The more people you invite into  your life the greater the chance you will me the romance of your life.
Have a joyous holiday and a wondrous New Year.

By Yvonne Perry

I began writing The Sid Series when my grandson, Sidney, was very young. The stories were inspired by Sidney and things we did together. I typed the stories into a Word doc, and would later read the stories to him while he sat on my lap in front of the computer. He wanted pictures to go with his stories, so I attempted to illustrate them and bring them to life with colored backgrounds.

Everyone loves to hold a book in his hand; so, I formatted the first three stories and printed them in black and white since my printer was out of color ink (as usual). I didn’t have a stapler with an arm long enough to reach to the centerfold, so I stapled the left edges together to hold the pages tight. It looked like a kindergarten term paper! It just didn’t “feel” like a book. I wanted a better way to bind them, and the pages needed to be in color according to Sid.

I took the file to Kinko’s thinking I would have the stories printed in color on both sides. Shocker! It would cost a dollar per page to have them printed. With the illustrations, the stories were about 15 pages each.

I decided if I was going to go to the trouble of printing and binding the stories, I might as well go ahead and publish them. I found a commercial printer that offered to produce the books in color with a center staple for about $7 each. I printed about a dozen copies of each title thinking I would sell the ones I didn’t need. However, printing them at $7 each didn’t allow any room for profit because folks weren’t willing to pay more than $7 for a 15-page book. Since it cost me another $2 to ship them, I would actually be paying people to buy them.

But none of that mattered. I didn’t write or publish them with the intention of getting rich! I was happy that we could hold and read the books together when it was time for bed. Sidney was so proud of our books that he took them to school for his teacher to read to his kindergarten class.

As time passed, Sid and I added more stories to the collection. He would dictate a story while I typed it. Sid became interested in the computer and was able to play games and get around quite well on the Internet. Once he learned to read, I formatted some new stories into e-books that he could read to himself any time he wanted. I still offer the e-books on my Web site for $3 each.

Still, I wanted the new stories in printed format. That’s when I decided to put all twelve stories in one book and publish them as The Sid Series ~ A Collection of Holistic Stories for Children. I’m glad I did. Now I have a lasting and tangible reminder of the times Sid and I spent together and we have a way to share them with other children and adults. See http://TheSidSeries.com

Yvonne Perry is a freelance writer and editor, award-winning Amazon.com bestselling author, podcast host, blogger extraordinaire, newsletter publisher, Internet marketing guru, and an outstanding keynote speaker. She is a graduate of American Institute of Holistic Theology where she earned a Bachelor of Science in Metaphysics. Perry is the author of The Sid Series ~ A Collection of Holistic Stories for Children.

By Carol Bruce-Fritz
Sharing our good fortune with others is one of the greatest joys we can experience as an individual, a family, a foundation, or a business.  We care about making the world a better place and helping others, especially in hard times, and we want our gifts to make a difference.  Here are some tips on how to give with impact.
1. Look deeply at how you want to change the world.  What are the issues you most care about?  Hunger, homelessness, cancer, animal rights, domestic violence?  Think about those issues that are tied most closely to your personal values, prioritize them, and select one to three issues to address first.
2. Which nonprofit organizations are focusing on your selected issues?  Narrow down the field by deciding whether you want to make a local or global impact.  Ask your friends which organizations they give to and why.  Check with your local library, United Way, or statewide nonprofit organization to find out who serves your community.  Find global charities by searching the Internet.  Once you have compiled a list of organizations, you’re ready to figure out who will spend your gift well.
3. Demand accountability.  No matter the size of your donation, you have the right to know how a charity spends its money and measures its success.  Visit the organization’s  website and look at its annual report.  A well-written annual report should outline the organization’s mission, goals of its programs, and tell how it measures the success of those programs. Research organizations online at Guidestar, Charity Navigator, or the Better Business Bureau.  Before giving, you should be comfortable in knowing that your gift will be well spent.
Carol Bruce-Fritz is a principal in BruceFritz and Associates.  She has been a leader in the nonprofit sector for more than 25 years.  She can be reach through her website, www.brucefritz.com.  The site also has a list of her favorite charities.

By Patricia Currin

This evening was laundry night, the most dreaded night of the week in our household.  In our apartment complex, the laundry room is in the parking lot.  Since we have two children under four years old, this is quite a safety challenge.  So, we have a laundry night to get through the week, and laundry Sunday, just to get caught up, since that is the only day my husband and I see each other.
He arrives home around 6 pm most nights, and usually, sits right down to dinner and conversation with the kids and me. But, tonight, he surprised me. He knew that there was a “duty” to be performed when he got home.  So, after a quick hello, he ran the laundry downstairs to the laundry room (where – not clear) without a word, set the timer, then grabbed dinner and started talking.
He is one of many men who get ignored: Duo Dad.    He works a full shift at work, many times overtime; and then, he comes home and gets right in to his other “job.”  In this day and age, it is not just the mom who takes on more responsibilities of the family life anymore. Yes, there have always been the “little league” dads, who coach little league and take part outside of the house; but now that the mother role has been commanded outside of the house, there are more and more men who actually do step up to the plate and help in all the roles of the household.  Just as we aren’t your 50s moms anymore, they aren’t your 50s dads anymore.
They have stepped out of the den, put down the smoking pipe, and rolled up their sleeves.  Yes, ladies, they even do windows. In my instance, the four nights a week that I work, it is entirely my husband’s show.  He cooks dinner, feeds the kids, reads, bathes and does nighttime prayers. And although they might not ever be able to meet our expectations (is that spot on the counter a juice stain?), the most important thing is: THEY ARE THERE.
Society has put a bad taste in our mouths:
• Non committal dad
• Dead beat dad
• Abusive dad
It’s time to celebrate who is out there, and what they are teaching our children:
It is okay for dads to help out, and take responsibility for the life you made
For every dad that does not give a damn, there are a hundred who do.  For every dead beat who doesn’t pay child support, there are men who work two plus jobs to make ends meet.
Remember that if you have a “Duo Dad” in your house, you are truly blessed.  Cherish him for all he’s worth.

by Arielle Ford
Arielle Ford is one of our favorite guest writers.  She has been a friend of Dr Wayne Dyers for year.  This is an interview she did recently with him after the release of his movie, The Shift.

Dr. Wayne Dyer, who is affectionately called the “father of motivation” by his fans, began his career as an author in the early 1970’s by traveling the country alone and selling his first book, Your Erroneous Zones, from the trunk of his car. That book went on to sell more than 30 million copies, and became the best selling book of the 1970’s.
Despite a childhood spent in orphanages and foster homes, he has overcome many obstacles to make his dreams come true. Today, he spends much of his time showing others how to do the same.
As an internationally renowned author and speaker in the field of self-development, he has written more than 30 books, 18 of which have been national bestsellers. Several of his books have been featured as PBS specials, which has resulted in raising over $150 million for national public television.
There is now a film that encompasses his core teachings, The Shift, which is available through www.SpiritualCinemaCircle.com.  Dr. Dyer appears as himself, along with a star-studded cast.   In The Shift we discover that every life has a turning point, a shift, a choice to make about what really matters.

AF: What’s the most important, life-changing thing that you’d like people to walk away with after seeing this film?
WD: That everyone has a dharma, a destiny, a “calling of the soul.”  Every bird, every tree, every person comes into this world with something it is destined to do.  All of the creatures on the planet don’t get confused about this. They are what they are.
Human beings, because they take on a false self, or ego, start to believe that what they do or what they have defines them.  The Shift illustrates that when you are at peace and you let go, you will be guided into your dharma.  You will be living a life of meaning rather than ambition.  That is the “shift.”
AF: What’s a memory that stands out about the making of the movie?
WD: At one point, after I had done a scene many times, I realized that I was trying too hard.  I was trying to be an actor and remember my lines.  Then I remembered that the words in the script were guidelines.  I just needed to be myself.  At that moment, the movie shifted from being a trial to allowing myself to just be me.
AF: What are some of your all-time favorite movies that have touched or inspired you?
WD: My very favorite is Déjà Vu by Henry Jaglom (featured in Spiritual Cinema Circle’s Vol. 10 – 2007) I’ve seen it 50 times.  This film opens up all the possibilities about life, love and fate — you begin to realize that this universe has endless possibilities.  Brother Sun, Sister Moon, the story of St. Francis of Assisi is my second favorite movie.  I also loved Forrest Gump and A Man for All Seasons.
AF: You’ve recently been diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.  What can you share about this experience?
WD: When you come into this world with big dharma, you get big challenges.  This is just another one of them.  As a child I lived in an orphanage.  My parents left me when I was little.  My wife left me.  I have had serious addictions in my life that I have let go of.  I will be able to understand it, make it work for me, and help other people.  I haven’t judged it or been angry with it.  I am not worried about healing it.  I am working to live with it.  I think when you fight anything, you weaken yourself.  I am inviting it to stay in peace and harmony with me or leave.  It’s up to it.  It’s just another life force.  Elisabeth Kubler Ross said, “When you shield the mountain from the windstorms, you will never see the beauty of the carving.”
You can receive The Shift plus three great short films for FREE when you sign up for a trial membership of Spiritual Cinema Circle (just pay a small shipping fee). This is the only DVD service dedicated to films about love, compassion and inspiration. Simply go to: www.spiritualcinemacircle.com
For more information about Wayne Dyer, his books and workshops, please visit www.DrWayneDyer.com.
                  # # #
About Arielle Ford:
Arielle Ford is the bestselling author of THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. She is also a founding partner of www.SpiritualCinemaCircle.com. Her websites include www.soulmatesecret.com and www.everythingyoushouldknow.com.

It is hard in days like this with the world changing and morals and relationships ever evolving to really know if you have a healthy relationship. Here are some questions that can help you to decide if you truly have a healthy relationship with the one that you love.

Since every relationship is different and because we as human being are ever changing and evolving you may not be able to answer yes to every question posed here but it may give you some ideas on the things that you could work on to help bring the level of healthiness up in your relationship.

Here are twelve questions you can ask yourself about the health of your relationship.

1. Do you love yourself and count on your own self for your own happiness?
2. Do you make and keep clear agreements between you and your spouse?
3. Do you have good communication between you and your partner?
4. Do you feel free to have your own life’s experiences?
5. Can you honestly tell your partner the truth about your feelings?
6. Do you keep score on your good deeds in the relationship?
7. Can you honestly forgive your partner for their mistakes?
8. Are you clear about your expectations for this relationship?
9. Are you responsible for your own actions?
10. Do you take time to appreciate how wonderful and special your relationship is?
11. Do you truly respect your partner and treat them the way you would like to be treated?
12. Do you make time to have quality time with your spouse?

Loving and respecting yourself is of primary importance in any relationship. You need to truly know and love yourself before you can truly love and respect someone else.

It is important that you make and keep clear agreements between you and your spouse. This is the clear essences of trust. You need to respect the differences between you. Reach for a mutual agreement or plan; the rules so to speak of the relationship, and then commit to it. Leave the partner if you can’t reach any agreement or you find he or she always makes excuses for breaking the agreement or plan. Trust is one of the cornerstones to a good relationship. Avoid any activity that could cause your partner to experience doubt, suspicion or distrust – build your credibility and earn trust and respect by always communicating truthfully and proactively.

Good communication leaves room for disagreement. You and your partner don’t always need to see eye to eye but you do need to respect each other’s point of view. You can either choose to be right, or you can have a successful relationship. You can’t always have both. If you can come to a mutual agreement it doesn’t mean one of you is bad or wrong just that you may not be suited to one another. Stay in touch by, for example, calling your partner even if it’s just to say ‘hi’, and ‘I love you’.

A healthy relationship allows for the differences in your personalities and your experiences. Life is one big lesson. You need to be able to find your own path and to learn your own strengths. In a healthy relationship partners do not rely on only one person’s experiences but share and grow from not only shared experiences but the individual experiences also.

Learning to be honest about your own feelings in a loving and honest way can be very hard. We long to be accepted and loved by our spouse. Many people are taught to lie to protect someone’s feelings, either their own or those of their partner. Always be true to your own feelings. It is hard to deny them when they are stated open and honestly.

Never keep a scoreboard. Do not do anything for your partner if it comes with an expectation of reciprocation. The things you do for your partner must always be done because you chose to do them and you wanted to do them.

Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past and focusing on the present. It’s about taking control of your current situation. Talk about the issues at hand and then let go of it.

If you can not then maybe this is not the relationship for you. If you can and you truly let go of it you will find peace within your relationship.

Try to be as clear as you can about any expectations – including acceptable and unacceptable behavior and attitudes, especially attitudes towards money. Letting your partner know in an honest and truthful way about what you expect makes it easier for both of you, no surprises.

Be responsible for your own actions. If you mess up let your partner know right away. Always be open to discussion. Tell your partner to give you time to talk and explain to them why you were angry, the wrong things you did, the things they did that you did not like and what you would like them to change. Ask your partner to do the same thing and give them a fair chance to talk and explain also. This will make your relationship stronger and help strengthen the communication between you and your partner.

Appreciation is glue that can keep most relationships together. Even when you argue try and remember the things that you appreciate about your partner. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to do it during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. Remember your partner is not a mind reader and you need to express your appreciation.

Treat your partner with respect and always expect that your partner will do the same. Conduct yourself with dignity, even if you’re very familiar with one another.

If you do not feel respect for your partner, or believe your partner is losing respect for you, then consider ways of rebuilding it immediately.

Make time for your relationship. Commune with each other and bask it each other’s glories. This can be as easy as a walk in the park or dinner alone without the in-laws or kids. Open up and really listen to what your partner is saying. Make alone time with your partner special. It is not wise to always use your alone time to discuss problems or troubles. Make it a time to learn about and love your partner.

Learning the difference between what is healthy and un- healthy can help you see where you might be having a problem and can let you pro-actively work on the areas of yourself that can make a difference. Remember that you can only change yourself, and that is part of loving and respecting yourself. You can not change your partner, you can only learn from their mistakes. Every relationship has its ups and downs no relationship is perfect because we are all still evolving and changing.