By Amy Cook Porter

On KRDO’s morning show today (May 9, 6:00 am) they talked about Spokeo.com.  It is a website that gathers your personal information from all of the social media sites as well as your address and credit information.  It also claims to gather photos as well.  Most of the photos on my profile were not mine. 

What worries me, besides having my address available, is that it also has credit info as well as all my personal likes and dislikes.  This is way too much personal information available to people I don’t know. 

• While some may tell you it’s harmless, from a business perspective, it’s not.  While there was nothing on there that was bad, my credit info shouldn’t be available to just anyone.   
• From a potential employer’s perspective, I can see information and pictures that tells me about your lifestyle.  That could prevent me from hiring you, cost you your job or at least have a discussion on your lifestyle and how it effects my business.   
• Identity theft – KRDO was amazed at all the information (for a price) that someone could learn about you.  With very little searching, they would know enough about you to re-create you on a credit app or in another city. 
• And if you had a personal stalker, as our daughter would say, “It’s a creeper’s dream.”  They would have your address, pictures, likes and dislikes.

Not everyone has a current profile on this site – and I was amazed how many of you do.  Take the time to check and check for your friends and family.  If they are there, suggest that they go to the link and look around.  It is ok for them to choose to invoke their privacy.

For those not sure whether to believe me, here is the Snopes link:  www.snopes.com/computer/internet/spokeo.asp

By Amy Cook-Porter

Today is my 25th Mother’s Day.  I celebrate today as my 25th anniversary of being a Mom.  This is the longest job I’ve held.  I’m not planning to give it up any time soon.

I didn’t celebrate this anniversary on our daughter’s 25 birthday.  That day, both 2 months ago and 25 years ago, was all about her. 

Mother’s Day, May 9, 2010 is about me.
The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.
She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
~ Rajneesh
No, I don’t think it’s selfish to take a day for me, on behalf of other Moms who have milestones today.  I have a friend who’s daughter is 40 and she is still married to her daughter’s father.  This woman, this mother should be lauded too for her accomplishment of co-creating a successful and happy young woman.

Another friend with 5 children helped arrange today’s celebration so that her daughters would have Mother’s Day.  She also called to make sure that I would have Mother’s Day – just in case my husband or daughters forgot.

These women understand.  This day isn’t about our children.  It’s about a sacred sisterhood we enter on the birth of our children. 

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of al
who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Women who have never given birth can only surmise what it’s like to have this kinship. Nor will men understand.  That’s why we connect with our sisters who do.

A sister understands and never judges: why our houses are never neat, our refrigerators covered with artwork and reminders; and why we never buy new things for us.  They too know that our children’s needs come first; and, that we consciously choose to sacrifice. 

All the while, our husbands and partners complain – complain about the house, the money, and our being tired because we live in a dual world – where we work full-time either in the home or out and raise a family, including our husband.  His mother stopped raising him at 18, hopefully.

So today, is Mother’s day. 
It is a day to do what YOU want of it.
It is a day without self- sacrifice or the need to control

It is a day to be with your family – or not. 
It is a day to play in the garden with Mother Earth
It is a day to go shopping or not
It is a day to let go of chores or to savor them
It’s a day to just be

It’s a day to cuddle babies or snuggle teenagers or walk hand-in-hand with loved ones
It’s a day to lounge on the patio, in the bath or in front of the tv
It’s a day to be me – who I used to be before wonderful daughters or who I will become when our house will be so empty, so quiet in the not so distant future
It’s a day to talk with friends who’s kids have grown and we remember when.
It’s a day for me.  It’s a day for our daughters and their young babies. It’s a day for grandmothers and their wonderous memories. Most of all it’s a day for Mothers.
And a special thanks to whomever put the 50 Inspirational Quotes I found on this website, http://inspirationmanifestation.com/614/a-mothers-day-tribute/ (and many others).  I was glad that I wasn’t the only one that wanted to honor the oldest profession.

By Amy Cook-Porter

It’s been 65 years since women pilots took to the skies.

They were serving their country, so male pilots could fly overseas.

They were civilian women, independently trained, many straight from the farms, arriving at military bases offering to serve.

They shuttled big jets across the US.

Tested repaired planes before they were ready to return to flight.

And, ferried dummy planes so male pilots could practice shooting at moving planes.

When the war was winding down, did they get a thank you?  No, they were told that they were taking jobs from male pilots and now they could go home.

No ceremonious discharge ~ no severance packet ~ not even a recognition or medal for a job well done.

Disappearing from history until the month of March, 2010, during Women’s History Month, these women are being honor with the Congregational Medal of Honor on March 10, 2010.

These are the women of WASP
 ~ Women Air Service Pilots
~ Originally 1,114 strong
~ 38 died while serving their country
~ Many more over time
~ Approximately 300 remain
~ About 115 will attend the service along with Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House and President Obama.

Theses were the first pilots in the armed forces.

Thank you for your time.

Funds are being collect for medals for each of these women or their surviving families.  The cost is $56,000 to recognize their achievements.  If you are interested, visit http://wingsacrossamerica.us/wings

Today is day 2 of the New Year, 01-10.  The numerology for the month is a 2.  For me, the number 2 is important.  The number two means that what I started last year is already in progress.

If it is already in progress, why then do I need to set new resolutions?  I need to relook at what I started last year, modify my goals, and expand my purpose.  In other words, skip the resolutions, look at what’s been accomplished last year to figure out what I need/want to do this year.

Last year I launched a print publication.  So this year, expand and publicize it – not too hard.  Our daughter started college.  The goal here (this is a no brainer) is to increase the cash revenues into the house.  And, last year, we had many illnesses in our house that didn’t responded to conventional or non-conventional treatment; so we need to rethink how we use our bodies to hold ourselves back or get what we want – either or.  (Notice we aren’t focusing on getting well.  Focusing on getting well keeps us in a place of being sick.  We are assuming that we are already well and going from there.)

The first focus is the publication.  It’s an off-shoot of who I am.  Publishing a print publication during a time when the web is where everyone is going for info, is a brave endeavor.  And, if the pub is part of me, it also means that I have to get myself out both in community and online – bravely.  If I had to rate what I accomplished last year, I’d give myself a C+.  That’s a little better than average and it gives me room to grow.

In truth, a lot of this has to do with me being visible.  It’s challenging having my words being read; s well as accepting rejection, when others disagree with what I say or write.  As our dog trainer, Bob says, “You need to toughen up.  Show some teeth.”  So for this year, show some teeth; and schedule an appointment with the dentist.

The second area is family.  Having a child become an adult before our eyes wasn’t easy.  There is a big gap in our lives.  Yes, the new puppy fills some of the space AND she is a dog, not a human.  Letting go of our daughter means having more time for her sister and for us.  So to fill the empty spaces, I’ve started reaching out more to people and to spend more time with me.  Last year I’d rate my “family” goals a teary B-.  Much of November was spent in survival mode.  So for this year, my goal is to enjoy the time spent with our daughters and not be upset that I have to use a cell phone or Skype to do that.

What I’ve found is that I don’t value my work.  I can be of service, working on behalf of community and I don’t get paid.  Yes, people support my publication, and they listen to what I have to say.  Yet, it brings in little income.  This year, I have to see value for my work.  The challenge is that my husband and I have been able to manifest most of what we want when we want it.  That makes the “seeing value” a challenge.  This alone can provide blog postings for months.

And finally, changing belief systems – whether it’s how we perceive our bodies or our lives.  We, well at least me, started working on the body issues last year.  The car wreck – it wasn’t an accident the driver wasn’t paying attention and hit me – literally took its toll on me.  It’s my responsibility to heal the body I was given.  While I can’t heal my family, I can provide information and demonstrate healing.  For this year, I’ll “release the struggle” of physical (healing) therapy.  As for my family, it’s their choice.

For me, there are no new resolutions.  Like the “2 year,” I am what goals I started last year, when I turned 50.  For me, this is the 2nd year of my 5th decade.  It is the year of Wonder and Awe.  Wondering about what is to come; and Awe about the changes that comes with adding something new.

My affirmation:  I embrace the new and wondrous that fills my world with awe.

By Amy Cook- Porter

For a few days, I’ve been struggling for a topic to write about.  One that wasn’t about family or the new puppy; one that was meaningful.  I put it out to the Universe and it came to me in an email.

The email reads like this:

12 of us in a room

I am supposed to pick 12 women (who have touched my life) and who I think might participate. I think that if this group of women were ever to be in a room together, there is nothing that would be impossible. I hope I chose the right twelve. May my hugs, love, gestures and communications remind you how special you are. Please send this back to me.

Remember to make a wish before you read the quotation. That’s all you have to do. There is nothing attached. Just send this to twelve women and let me know what happens on the fourth day. Sorry you have to forward the message, but try not to break this, please. Did you make a wish yet? If you don’t make a wish, it won’t come true. This is your last chance to make a wish!

‘May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.’

Now, send this to 12 women (or more) within the next 5 minutes. And remember to send this back. I count as 1… You’ll see why.
 

The lesson of this email is not about sending it to 12 friends in five minutes; nor the blessings you’ll get out of it.  It’s about having 12 friends that you can count on.  I don’t know about you, but the thought of counting my friends made me pause.  Do I have 12 friends that I can name in under 5 minutes?  Women who I can count on in the moment.  Not clients, not close associates – friends who care enough if I wasn’t around.

After I pondered for a moment, I actually listed 13; and as I typed this, 4 more came to mind.  I feel fortunate at the deepest level.  Because to have friends you have to be a friend.

Now my question to you is: do you let your friends in at the deepest level (not the dramatic one)?  These are the friends who will cry if you are not around; not the ones who use you.  If you struggle to find 12, then ask yourself why are you holding back, protecting yourself from the world.  You are a goddess after all.  Let everyone share your light and wisdom.

If it is just fear holding you back, then take the risk of emailing the text to 12 women who have made a difference in your life.  If you let them in at a deeper level, they too will be your friends.

By Amy Cook-Porter

On October 2, the New York City Education Department ruled that there will be no more Bake Sales in the public schools.

According to Jennifer Medina in the NY Times,

The change is part of a new wellness policy that also limits what can be sold in vending machines and student-run stores, which use profits to help finance activities like pep rallies and proms. The elaborate rules were outlined in a three-page memo issued at the end of June, but in the new school year, principals and parents are just beginning to, well, digest them.
Parent groups and Parent-Teacher Associations are conspicuously given an exception: once a month they are allowed to sell as many dark fudge brownies and lemon bars as they please, so long as lunch has ended. And after 6 p.m. on weekdays, anything goes. But at that hour, most students are long gone, and as far as the Education Department is concerned, stuffing oneself with coconut macaroons and peanut butter cookies at that hour is one’s prerogative.

Having been a part of numerous bake sales & root beer float days, I can tell you first hand, nobody got fat eating my cookies, nor did anyone get sick.

Most of the kids had enough coinage to buy 1 or 2 items at best.  This treat was in lieu of their afternoon snack at home or on the way to soccer practice.

I find it ironic that they Ed Department is concerned about sugar and butter, but not about corn syrup and low-fat crap they continually give our kids.  Ask an nutritionist, “Kids need fats and calories.” 

While white sugar is not great, it beats some of the alternatives.  And, at our bake sales, many of the parents substituted honey, agave and applesauce for these offending ingredients.

When will government learn that you can’t legislate what people eat, especially kids.  The more you say “No!” the more we all hear, “Eat me!”  Considering how many diets we’ve all broken, this is a waste of time.  (I see visions of kids on street corners, pulling home-baked cookies out of their pockets, whispering, “Hey kid!  You want to buy a brownie?”)

Bake sales fill a short term need for after school snacks as well as helping the sponsoring organization.  My recommendation for these well intentioned ed folks:  take a nutrition class or two.  Learn what truly causes inactive, computer driven kids and adults to be over weight.  Then change the school lunches to include quality fresh fruits & vegs, range feed meats and multi-grains. 

Of course these ed folk won’t do that.  They’d rather make cookies illegal and sold on neighboring corners.

By Amy Cook-Porter

It’s taken me two months to write a review of Adela Stockton’s book, Birth spaces, Safe Place that is being distributed by Findhorn Press out of Scotland.

The book is only 100 pages.  So, why haven’t I written it?  Okay, I’ve been too busy – re-reading it and recommending it locally to everyone, I know.

About the book:

Adel takes what is best in the health care realm in Great Britain and combines it with hers and other midwifes’ knowledge  (yes, midwives have an active role in the British health system) and turns it into a powerful manual on pregnancy.

My favorite sections:

• Adelea’s insight into the fears that women have concerning birth.  Whether they are having their first, their third, a C-Section or they are just not ready to deliver even though their due date has past.

• Tips on turning babies in utero

• And, how to create sacred birth space

Recommendations:

This book is a must read for

• Birthing classes and instructors
• Midwives
• Doulas
• OBs who care about their birthing moms
• Dads who want to have a clue

It should be also be included in the gift basket for every baby shower and ceremony.

By Amy Cook Porter

Personally, I wouldn’t have chosen that for the name of a presentation.  Yet both the name and date (09-09-09) sparked a lot of interest from the group of women I was lunching with on 09-09-09.

For me the number 9 means completion.  Triple that.  It’s a major completion – a lifetime of work.  Being right before Rosh haShanah, to me it means ending major parts of my life and beginning new.  Kind of matches my Coming of Age Philosophy.

For Judaism, it views the number nine differently.  It’s all about pregnancy.  According to the Passover song, Echad Mi Yodaya — Who Knows One?

One is G-d, two are the tablets, three the patriarchs, four the matriarchs, five the books of the Torah, six the parts of the Mishnah, seven the days of the week, eight are the days of the bris (circumcision);  nine the months of pregnancy and ten the commandments.

Wait a minute, nine are the month of pregnancy?  And Wednesday, nine days before Erev (eve) Rosh haShanah, is the ninth day of the ninth month of the ninth year was devoted to a day about Jewish women.  Why not talk about Pregnant with Possibilities.

At fifty, pregnant doesn’t mean morning sickness and stretch marks.  It means pregnant with new ideas and projects; and hopefully birthing them up to nine months later.  These babies are all about the changes we bring into our lives – whether educationally, spiritually or healing.

So why are we contemplating new ideas?  Well being Jewish women we celebrate our new year, the birthday of the world two weeks before the harvest is due.  For us, this year 5770.  Numerologically, that adds up to first 19 and then 1 – new beginnings.

For me, the year 5770 is all about new beginnings, some of these changes could take up to nine months to create. Here are the steps for creating this kind of new beginnings

1. Daily meditation
2. Go within and choose what worked this year.  What made you happy?  Where was the struggle?
3. Pick a spiritual area that you want to expand on.  This kind of change is not about outward appearance or relationships.  It’s about your spiritual relationship with a higher spiritual being.
4. Journal about what this spiritual relationship looks like
5. Write affirmations connecting you to source.
6. EFT works well to lock in these affirmations.
My focus for the next week is all about being, “Pregnant with Possibilities” and what I am about to become.  What will your focus be?

* Thanks to Ellen Hutt for the wonderful presentation on 09-09-09

By Amy Cook

We count how old our children are; how long we’ve married or divorce; and how long we’ve been at a job.  Yet, how often do we count how long we’ve been parents.  Many of us have been parents longer than we’ve been at our current job.

Now that one of our babies is leaving home, I count.  How many years for me?  This is the beginning of my 25th year – a quarter of a century.  That gives me the right to reflect back.

Dreams – I had a few.  Like going to Machu Picchu and the pyramids; running with the bulls in Pamplona and seeing Venice. (For those 50+, don’t you remember the mother in that cancer commercial that talked about seeing Venice.)  Have I done any of those?  No.  Do I regret?  No – well maybe – at least Venice.

What I’ve done is:
• brushed hair 4015 times before being told, “I’m too big for that now”;
• driven 21 First Days to school, hiding both tears of joys and smiles of relief;
• shopped for the perfect outfit for first days of school. 

I’ve attended
• orchestra concerts, cross country meets and school musicals;
• helped dress for many a party or prom (my clothes have gone places I’ve never been);
• and listened to many tales of friendships, both girls and boys.  (Where have the days when boys have cooties gone?)

I’ve read
• countless number of bedtime stories – Dr Seuss was the best;
• tucked daughters into bed – even when they were too old for Mom;
• and wiped away tears of joy and sadness. 

If you haven’t been a parent, you wouldn’t understand. 
• Being a parent is all about putting your dreams on hold to nurture young minds;
• buying the extras when the money was saved for mom’s essentials;
• and loosing sleep, because staying a wake til all hours is what Moms do.

You can always tell when you are working with a mom. 
• She can juggle her schedule; your tasks and pick up her kids on time from soccer practice. 
• Flexibility is her middle name. 
• Other notable traits: compassionate heart, intuitive, multi-tasker extraordinaire;
• and a sense of humor that gets her through the most challenging set of circumstances.

Who on tv exemptafies us?  Jada Pinkett-Smith’s character, Christina Hawthorne rocks!  She’s a working medical mom with a teenage daughter and unhappy mother-in-law.  Am I similar?  A working mom who also wants to heal/change the world.  I too have a teenage daughter, actually two, and a mother-in-law – unhappy, well you will have to ask her.  The only difference is my husband is only sick, not dead. 

Hawthorne’s one of my role models; Michael Weston’s mom (Sharon Gless) on Burn Notice is another. 
Though I grew up with June Cleaver and Harriet Nelson.  I’m not big into co-dependent women who put their lives on hold. (Dreams on hold are not the same as lives on home.)

Another favorite is Jane Seymour’s Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.  She too balanced home and career, plus she was based on the life of one of Colorado first doctors.

Why don’t I have any real role models?  Right now, there are too many people struggling on the planet – just making it through the day to day. 

They are focused on struggle and fear;

Or they tell us how to maintain diversity, individuality and materialism.

This isn’t who I am.  My role model embraces community, family and life.  These will be women who can inspire not only me; they inspire our daughters and granddaughters.

Can I be a role model as a mom?  Twenty five years will tell.  When my daughters can look back and say, “I learned that from Mom.”  Then I will feel successful.  Until then, I will still drive carpool for another few years; replenish diminished bank accounts and offer “sage” mom advice when asked for, but never offered.

And when our last daughter leaves home, what will I do?  After twenty nine years, I will retire from being a stay-at-home mom.  Then what?  I can have my dreams -  maybe visit Machu Picchu or the pyramids at Giza and then Venice.  Or I can create a new dream.

Affirmations:

I (your name) am the best mom.
My (your) children listen to me.

Count your affirmations.  Count your days.  Count your dreams.  What truly counts?  That which makes you happy.