The New Year
Friday, January 8th, 2010
Today is day 2 of the New Year, 01-10. The numerology for the month is a 2. For me, the number 2 is important. The number two means that what I started last year is already in progress.
If it is already in progress, why then do I need to set new resolutions? I need to relook at what I started last year, modify my goals, and expand my purpose. In other words, skip the resolutions, look at what’s been accomplished last year to figure out what I need/want to do this year.
Last year I launched a print publication. So this year, expand and publicize it – not too hard. Our daughter started college. The goal here (this is a no brainer) is to increase the cash revenues into the house. And, last year, we had many illnesses in our house that didn’t responded to conventional or non-conventional treatment; so we need to rethink how we use our bodies to hold ourselves back or get what we want – either or. (Notice we aren’t focusing on getting well. Focusing on getting well keeps us in a place of being sick. We are assuming that we are already well and going from there.)
The first focus is the publication. It’s an off-shoot of who I am. Publishing a print publication during a time when the web is where everyone is going for info, is a brave endeavor. And, if the pub is part of me, it also means that I have to get myself out both in community and online – bravely. If I had to rate what I accomplished last year, I’d give myself a C+. That’s a little better than average and it gives me room to grow.
In truth, a lot of this has to do with me being visible. It’s challenging having my words being read; s well as accepting rejection, when others disagree with what I say or write. As our dog trainer, Bob says, “You need to toughen up. Show some teeth.” So for this year, show some teeth; and schedule an appointment with the dentist.
The second area is family. Having a child become an adult before our eyes wasn’t easy. There is a big gap in our lives. Yes, the new puppy fills some of the space AND she is a dog, not a human. Letting go of our daughter means having more time for her sister and for us. So to fill the empty spaces, I’ve started reaching out more to people and to spend more time with me. Last year I’d rate my “family” goals a teary B-. Much of November was spent in survival mode. So for this year, my goal is to enjoy the time spent with our daughters and not be upset that I have to use a cell phone or Skype to do that.
What I’ve found is that I don’t value my work. I can be of service, working on behalf of community and I don’t get paid. Yes, people support my publication, and they listen to what I have to say. Yet, it brings in little income. This year, I have to see value for my work. The challenge is that my husband and I have been able to manifest most of what we want when we want it. That makes the “seeing value” a challenge. This alone can provide blog postings for months.
And finally, changing belief systems – whether it’s how we perceive our bodies or our lives. We, well at least me, started working on the body issues last year. The car wreck – it wasn’t an accident the driver wasn’t paying attention and hit me – literally took its toll on me. It’s my responsibility to heal the body I was given. While I can’t heal my family, I can provide information and demonstrate healing. For this year, I’ll “release the struggle” of physical (healing) therapy. As for my family, it’s their choice.
For me, there are no new resolutions. Like the “2 year,” I am what goals I started last year, when I turned 50. For me, this is the 2nd year of my 5th decade. It is the year of Wonder and Awe. Wondering about what is to come; and Awe about the changes that comes with adding something new.
My affirmation: I embrace the new and wondrous that fills my world with awe.
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