Message of Joy

By Joy Heartsong
First published in Heartsong Healing Newsletter – Tiger Talk

If you had a choice, would you rather go upstream or downstream?  Think about it for a moment.  On the one hand, we may feel negative emotions, struggles and dissatisfaction with life.  With the downstream hand, there’s a sense of feeling lighter and being more positive, confident and trusting.

It’s amazing how hard we work to go upstream when what we really want is to take the path of least resistance.  Since you always have a choice, what’s it going to be?  No excuses or qualifiers, please. We don’t need to know your tale of woe or why you can’t do anything to change it.  It just is. We can’t always make it go away, but we can shift the way we feel about it, talk about it and think about it.

Most of us would prefer doing a 180 degree turn to go downstream if we truly believed we could. Instead we may feel lost about the “how”, paralyzed by the unknown or afraid of endangering life and limb, our own or someone else’s.  It’s time to muster up our courage. It’s time to let go of everything but the desire to be happy and have the kind of life you want.

Are you ready to take the plunge into the depths of happiness? If so, take a big breath and exhale slowly. Now let go of the oars and trust that the boat will turn effortlessly; soon you’ll find yourself flowing with the current.  “Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily…”

I love this quote by Abraham-Hicks excerpted from the book Money and the Law of Attraction, Learning to Attract Health, Wealth and Happiness,#463:

“Whenever you are feeling less than good, if you will stop and say, ‘Nothing is more important than that I feel good; I want to find a reason now to feel good,’ you will find an improved thought.”

If you find yourself going upstream again, even with all your good intentions, simply look for a happier thought.  When you have it, allow yourself to focus on it until you’re once again going gently down the stream.

As you continue going with the flow, you’ll have more energy to love the things you do and do the things you love.  Quiet contemplation, inner listening and a joyful spirit will become your trusted guides on your journey.

Love the things you do, and do the things you love!

Joy is a Healing Touch Certified Practitioner/Instructor and intuitive energy healer. In her private practice, she specialiizes in relieving your pain, stress and allergies. She is passionate about helping  claim your true power by connecting with the wisdom of the Tiger within.  She can be reached at www.heartsonghealing.com

 by Tisha Morris
 
In the documentary film, The Story of Stuff, Annie Leonard examines our national obsession with stuff and how it all began.  She attributes our consumption addiction to the post-World War III economic policies that propagandized the notion of buying stuff.  Our insatiable appetites haven’t been able to stop since.  That is, until now.
With the decline of the economy – whether directly affected or not – we have all started to take pause before making a purchase.  More importantly, we are beginning to take inventory of the stuff that we do have.  Even more so, we are beginning to feel taken over by all the stuff that we have accumulated over the decades, which is why so many of us are having the urge to purge or declutter our homes.
But is it as easy as making some runs to Goodwill?
Of course not.
Why?
We have become addicted, or emotionally attached, to our stuff. 
Buying and accumulating stuff is just another way to distract ourselves from our present lives.  Like cigarettes or alcohol, it is a quick fix to feeling good.  But when the high wears off, we are left with an icky feeling.  But we need the icky feeling so that we can punish ourselves and perpetuate our guilt.  And then we need the high again so that we don’t feel the pain, and the circle continues. 
Is this an overreaction to buying a new toaster?  Maybe.  But consumption can be an addiction (or at the least an emotional attachment) that, unlike cigarettes and alcohol, is hard to recognize because it is so affirmed by our friends, family, media, and government. 
So how do we detach from our stuff?
Knowledge is power.  Knowing what and why we are attached to our stuff or certain items will oftentimes break the emotional attachment with our stuff.  For some of us, having a lot of stuff is simply a distraction from our everyday life.  A cluttered space results in a cluttered mind, which is exactly what some of us want, at least subconsciously.  In the same way alcohol makes things fuzzy, having a lot of things in your space will do the same.  And on some level, that is the desired outcome.  If this resonates with you, then bring awareness to it.  (If you are highly resistant to this idea, then you might want to take a second look.) 
For many of us, it is certain items that are difficult to part with.  It may be books and magazines for some or old pictures, clothes, gifts, collections, etc. for others.  Either way, if you don’t love the item(s) or don’t use it, then it is time to part with it.  If you are still having resistance, then it’s time to acknowledge an emotional attachment to the item….
Start asking yourself questions.
What am I feeling right now?
What memories does this item bring up?
Who gave it to me?
Why did I originally buy it?
Who does it remind me of?
Do I feel guilty getting rid of this item?  If so, why? 
Why?
Why?
And Why?
Be your own detective… or therapist.  Get to the root of why you are hanging on to an item that you know would be in your best interest to get rid of.  You may be surprised.  What you thought was just an old hairbrush may actually be a reservoir of past emotions that you and your sister shared when she helped you get ready for prom.  Or maybe the green gingham shirt with the price tag on it conjures up guilt for buying things that are on sale and never wearing them.  Until acknowledged, the shirt will hang in your closet serving only to attract the pattern for more guilt.
Once you have awareness around an item, you will be amazed at how easy it will be to let go of it.  If you have the awareness but still don’t want to get rid of the item, then it may simply be too early.  See how you feel the next round of decluttering. 
To start the process of decluttering, I recommend working in baby steps with attainable goals as I set out in 5 Steps to Clearing Clutter.   You will build up the confidence that will keep you going through the long haul.  Once you realize that life will go on with fewer items, you will not only want to clear out more stuff, but will start to feel free.
And when you feel this sense of freedom you know you have mastered the art of detaching from your stuff.

Title: 27 Things To Feng Shui Your Home
Author: Tisha Morris
Turner Publishing Company
ISBN: 978-1-59652-567-2
Price: $9.99
184 pages
Self-help genre
Purchase on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1596525673/?tag=writeoncreati-20

 
Back cover:
 
“If you want to change your life, move 27 things in your home.” This ancient Chinese proverb speaks of the powerful connection our homes have with our lives. In 27 Things to Feng Shui Your Home, Tisha Morris shows in creative, basic steps how to use the art of feng shui to create an inviting, personal atmosphere in your home that will renovate your life.
 
Discover how to:
•         Manageably clear clutter to optimize space
•         Use lighting, color, and simple objects to create good energy flow
•         Space clear to promote good health
•         Integrate the five elements into your home to create harmony

By Trish Currin

As a parent of 2 young children, moving into a new area seemed daunting.  Our old city had everything we needed: a great doctor, a close hospital, a great dentist, walking distance parks, and even great cheap little places to go have fun. I really didn’t want to move several hours away, after FINALLY getting into the groove with my 2 year old and infant daughter.  As fate would have it, we had to move for my husband’s job. I was a stay at home mom, pretty happy with where we were, but agreed to move to save his job, instead of succumbing to a layoff. As I was packing, I had no clue what I would need to make an easier transition. I found out the hard way. Here are a few things (in no particular order) that are needed to help settle in with your little ones:
1) Find medical attention.  Ideally, finding a pediatrician right away would be the way to go. In a pinch, know where the urgent care center and hospital near you are.  Urgent care centers are ideal to deal with little things, such as a diaper rash or a fall off the couch, because hospitals are expensive.  Most health insurances consider this a doctor’s appointment, not a hospital visit.  And, hospitals have countless germs and infections that your children can either catch or make worse just with their presence. Two things to check:
a. make sure the medical facility is covered by your insurance
b. And, make sure they have pediatricians or family practice doctors on site

2) Find a park or outdoor area that you can take your children to.  When the day is filled with unpacking, waiting for the cable company, and general chaos, nothing can compete with going to the park for a little R & R.  Take time for a little fresh air.  It can calm both you and kids down, after a day spent sorting boxes.  Down the road, this is also a very useful tool to connect with other moms and tap into their limitless wealth of information of the surrounding area, from a dry cleaner to  mechanic or dependable babysitter.  These women can save your sanity.

3) Local Insurance Agent.  Even if all your policies are from nationwide insurance carriers, it is helpful to have a real life person to help you navigate the different things associated insurance:
a. have you located into a higher risk area
b. do you need additional earthquake coverage or flood coverage
c. have the changes you already made been implemented

These are things the agent can work with the carrier for you.

4) Learn about potential disasters for the area and how to prepare for them: earthquakes, floods, are just a few things that need to be prepared for. Find out what the new community does to help, and what they recommend the community does to prepare and get through the event.  A good resource is the local library, or chamber of commerce.

5) Find a mechanic. As a starting place, a close national chain such as Midas or Jiffy Lube are good resources for a small repair recommendation. Sometimes they have recommendations themselves. The can also give you recommendations on what needs to be done to get your car prepared if it is a new climate as well:
a. do you need snow tires for the winter
b. do you need to change what kind of oil is used

6) Schools and their policies.  Making sure there is continuity in education is very necessary for children to get used to their surroundings, as well as provide for necessary care for errands, unpacking, and a little time to gather yourself in your new surroundings.

7) Find a local parents group.  Just a with playground moms, these people can provide great support for someone learning a new town. Meetup.com, Craigslist, cafemom.com or even Myspace has parents forums to get you in touch with other people in your area.

8) Local place of worship.  Again continuity of routine is essential for your family as a whole when moving into a new area. Keeping the faith will add a little respite from the boxes, change of address, and other urgent matters, as well as allot family time that sometimes goes to the wayside after such a large undertaking as moving.

This column is in honor of Erma Bombeck.  Erma was the first person to explain to me the subtle differences between men and women.  Growing up in the 60s and 70s, my concept of men was based on television dads like the kindly Hugh Beaumont (the Beaver’s dad), then like the unflappable Fred MacMurray in My Three Sons and finally like the opinionated Archie Bunker in All in the Family.  Those were my motley role models.

Add to it that my generation was being told “Men were from Mars, the Warrior Planet; and women, Venus, the world of love and romance.   No wonder, I was confused.

And then I discovered Erma Bombeck in the morning newspaper.  She was equally confused about the changing gender roles.  Sometimes, she was mystified about the how June Cleaver (the Beaver’s mom) found time to cleaned her house in white gloves and pearls -  while Erma hid things, so not to have to dust and sweep.  She wasn’t a gloves and pearls kind of lady nor a bra burning woman – uncomfortable in both worlds, striving to create her own – one that she fit in, one that made sense.

She used her column to work out some of the inconsistencies in life, especially the communication conflicts between men and women.  She tried to explain the subtle differences between the sexes, while making it ok for men to be warriors and women, lovers.  Even if I didn’t always understand the differences, she made me laugh.  Erma gave me hope that when I was her age (and as a teen, that seemed impossible) I would understand that there are differences between the sexes and I would laugh about them too.

One of my favorite columns talked about how couples get ready for bed.  In honor of Erma, I’ve up-dated the couples nightly ritual.

My husband rubbed his chin, looked at the cat sleeping peacefully under on his lap, under his lap top and said, “I think it’s time to go to bed.” to whomever was listening.

Agreeing, I started closing down programs on my computer, sending off last minute emails, checking the family’s schedule for tomorrow – our collegiate’s, our high schooler’s, our married daughter (quick check of her blog will tell me where she’ll be tomorrow), my husband (remember to remind about a hair cut) and mine (3 meetings – will need to get up early to prep).

Then it’s a quick trip to the laundry room to either put a load into the dryer or hang up a load to dry.  Before going upstairs, I pick up dirty dishes, clean clothes/towels and anything else that needs to go up.  After climbing the stairs, I put the dishes in the sink, clothes in the upstairs basket and towels in the linen closet.  Then, back to the kitchen to turn on the tea kettle, feed the puppies a quick snack and put them out.  While waiting on them, I remind our teen that it is time to turn off her computer and go to sleep.  I turn off extra lights, the dogs’ music and let the pets in, locking the door and, making sure they have fresh water.  The tea kettle boils just as I tuck the puppy into her kennel.  I make a quick hot drink for my husband and me and carry it downstairs.

After handing the cup to my husband, I feed and water the cats.  On finishing our drinks, I collect the mugs and put them out of the kitties reach.   I, then, turn the bed covers down and start getting ready for bed.

My husband slowly lifts the cat off his lap, puts his laptop aside, rubbing his chin again, he say, “I guess it’s time to go to bed” and I agree.

Today is day 2 of the New Year, 01-10.  The numerology for the month is a 2.  For me, the number 2 is important.  The number two means that what I started last year is already in progress.

If it is already in progress, why then do I need to set new resolutions?  I need to relook at what I started last year, modify my goals, and expand my purpose.  In other words, skip the resolutions, look at what’s been accomplished last year to figure out what I need/want to do this year.

Last year I launched a print publication.  So this year, expand and publicize it – not too hard.  Our daughter started college.  The goal here (this is a no brainer) is to increase the cash revenues into the house.  And, last year, we had many illnesses in our house that didn’t responded to conventional or non-conventional treatment; so we need to rethink how we use our bodies to hold ourselves back or get what we want – either or.  (Notice we aren’t focusing on getting well.  Focusing on getting well keeps us in a place of being sick.  We are assuming that we are already well and going from there.)

The first focus is the publication.  It’s an off-shoot of who I am.  Publishing a print publication during a time when the web is where everyone is going for info, is a brave endeavor.  And, if the pub is part of me, it also means that I have to get myself out both in community and online – bravely.  If I had to rate what I accomplished last year, I’d give myself a C+.  That’s a little better than average and it gives me room to grow.

In truth, a lot of this has to do with me being visible.  It’s challenging having my words being read; s well as accepting rejection, when others disagree with what I say or write.  As our dog trainer, Bob says, “You need to toughen up.  Show some teeth.”  So for this year, show some teeth; and schedule an appointment with the dentist.

The second area is family.  Having a child become an adult before our eyes wasn’t easy.  There is a big gap in our lives.  Yes, the new puppy fills some of the space AND she is a dog, not a human.  Letting go of our daughter means having more time for her sister and for us.  So to fill the empty spaces, I’ve started reaching out more to people and to spend more time with me.  Last year I’d rate my “family” goals a teary B-.  Much of November was spent in survival mode.  So for this year, my goal is to enjoy the time spent with our daughters and not be upset that I have to use a cell phone or Skype to do that.

What I’ve found is that I don’t value my work.  I can be of service, working on behalf of community and I don’t get paid.  Yes, people support my publication, and they listen to what I have to say.  Yet, it brings in little income.  This year, I have to see value for my work.  The challenge is that my husband and I have been able to manifest most of what we want when we want it.  That makes the “seeing value” a challenge.  This alone can provide blog postings for months.

And finally, changing belief systems – whether it’s how we perceive our bodies or our lives.  We, well at least me, started working on the body issues last year.  The car wreck – it wasn’t an accident the driver wasn’t paying attention and hit me – literally took its toll on me.  It’s my responsibility to heal the body I was given.  While I can’t heal my family, I can provide information and demonstrate healing.  For this year, I’ll “release the struggle” of physical (healing) therapy.  As for my family, it’s their choice.

For me, there are no new resolutions.  Like the “2 year,” I am what goals I started last year, when I turned 50.  For me, this is the 2nd year of my 5th decade.  It is the year of Wonder and Awe.  Wondering about what is to come; and Awe about the changes that comes with adding something new.

My affirmation:  I embrace the new and wondrous that fills my world with awe.

By Amy Cook- Porter

For a few days, I’ve been struggling for a topic to write about.  One that wasn’t about family or the new puppy; one that was meaningful.  I put it out to the Universe and it came to me in an email.

The email reads like this:

12 of us in a room

I am supposed to pick 12 women (who have touched my life) and who I think might participate. I think that if this group of women were ever to be in a room together, there is nothing that would be impossible. I hope I chose the right twelve. May my hugs, love, gestures and communications remind you how special you are. Please send this back to me.

Remember to make a wish before you read the quotation. That’s all you have to do. There is nothing attached. Just send this to twelve women and let me know what happens on the fourth day. Sorry you have to forward the message, but try not to break this, please. Did you make a wish yet? If you don’t make a wish, it won’t come true. This is your last chance to make a wish!

‘May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.’

Now, send this to 12 women (or more) within the next 5 minutes. And remember to send this back. I count as 1… You’ll see why.
 

The lesson of this email is not about sending it to 12 friends in five minutes; nor the blessings you’ll get out of it.  It’s about having 12 friends that you can count on.  I don’t know about you, but the thought of counting my friends made me pause.  Do I have 12 friends that I can name in under 5 minutes?  Women who I can count on in the moment.  Not clients, not close associates – friends who care enough if I wasn’t around.

After I pondered for a moment, I actually listed 13; and as I typed this, 4 more came to mind.  I feel fortunate at the deepest level.  Because to have friends you have to be a friend.

Now my question to you is: do you let your friends in at the deepest level (not the dramatic one)?  These are the friends who will cry if you are not around; not the ones who use you.  If you struggle to find 12, then ask yourself why are you holding back, protecting yourself from the world.  You are a goddess after all.  Let everyone share your light and wisdom.

If it is just fear holding you back, then take the risk of emailing the text to 12 women who have made a difference in your life.  If you let them in at a deeper level, they too will be your friends.

By Patricia Currin

This evening was laundry night, the most dreaded night of the week in our household.  In our apartment complex, the laundry room is in the parking lot.  Since we have two children under four years old, this is quite a safety challenge.  So, we have a laundry night to get through the week, and laundry Sunday, just to get caught up, since that is the only day my husband and I see each other.
He arrives home around 6 pm most nights, and usually, sits right down to dinner and conversation with the kids and me. But, tonight, he surprised me. He knew that there was a “duty” to be performed when he got home.  So, after a quick hello, he ran the laundry downstairs to the laundry room (where – not clear) without a word, set the timer, then grabbed dinner and started talking.
He is one of many men who get ignored: Duo Dad.    He works a full shift at work, many times overtime; and then, he comes home and gets right in to his other “job.”  In this day and age, it is not just the mom who takes on more responsibilities of the family life anymore. Yes, there have always been the “little league” dads, who coach little league and take part outside of the house; but now that the mother role has been commanded outside of the house, there are more and more men who actually do step up to the plate and help in all the roles of the household.  Just as we aren’t your 50s moms anymore, they aren’t your 50s dads anymore.
They have stepped out of the den, put down the smoking pipe, and rolled up their sleeves.  Yes, ladies, they even do windows. In my instance, the four nights a week that I work, it is entirely my husband’s show.  He cooks dinner, feeds the kids, reads, bathes and does nighttime prayers. And although they might not ever be able to meet our expectations (is that spot on the counter a juice stain?), the most important thing is: THEY ARE THERE.
Society has put a bad taste in our mouths:
• Non committal dad
• Dead beat dad
• Abusive dad
It’s time to celebrate who is out there, and what they are teaching our children:
It is okay for dads to help out, and take responsibility for the life you made
For every dad that does not give a damn, there are a hundred who do.  For every dead beat who doesn’t pay child support, there are men who work two plus jobs to make ends meet.
Remember that if you have a “Duo Dad” in your house, you are truly blessed.  Cherish him for all he’s worth.

By Amy Cook Porter

Personally, I wouldn’t have chosen that for the name of a presentation.  Yet both the name and date (09-09-09) sparked a lot of interest from the group of women I was lunching with on 09-09-09.

For me the number 9 means completion.  Triple that.  It’s a major completion – a lifetime of work.  Being right before Rosh haShanah, to me it means ending major parts of my life and beginning new.  Kind of matches my Coming of Age Philosophy.

For Judaism, it views the number nine differently.  It’s all about pregnancy.  According to the Passover song, Echad Mi Yodaya — Who Knows One?

One is G-d, two are the tablets, three the patriarchs, four the matriarchs, five the books of the Torah, six the parts of the Mishnah, seven the days of the week, eight are the days of the bris (circumcision);  nine the months of pregnancy and ten the commandments.

Wait a minute, nine are the month of pregnancy?  And Wednesday, nine days before Erev (eve) Rosh haShanah, is the ninth day of the ninth month of the ninth year was devoted to a day about Jewish women.  Why not talk about Pregnant with Possibilities.

At fifty, pregnant doesn’t mean morning sickness and stretch marks.  It means pregnant with new ideas and projects; and hopefully birthing them up to nine months later.  These babies are all about the changes we bring into our lives – whether educationally, spiritually or healing.

So why are we contemplating new ideas?  Well being Jewish women we celebrate our new year, the birthday of the world two weeks before the harvest is due.  For us, this year 5770.  Numerologically, that adds up to first 19 and then 1 – new beginnings.

For me, the year 5770 is all about new beginnings, some of these changes could take up to nine months to create. Here are the steps for creating this kind of new beginnings

1. Daily meditation
2. Go within and choose what worked this year.  What made you happy?  Where was the struggle?
3. Pick a spiritual area that you want to expand on.  This kind of change is not about outward appearance or relationships.  It’s about your spiritual relationship with a higher spiritual being.
4. Journal about what this spiritual relationship looks like
5. Write affirmations connecting you to source.
6. EFT works well to lock in these affirmations.
My focus for the next week is all about being, “Pregnant with Possibilities” and what I am about to become.  What will your focus be?

* Thanks to Ellen Hutt for the wonderful presentation on 09-09-09

By Kath Schnorr
If you had an extra hour today, what would you do? How would you spend your time? When I ask women this question most answer with something for themselves. They would take time to go for a walk, take a yoga class, visit a friend, read, or just enjoy some quiet time alone.

We as women tend to put ourselves last on our list and it seems that we never get to that last item – which is ourselves. For some of us, as illustrated by the question above, we do not even make it on our list. In our world today we are so busy doing, focused on getting things done so we can check them off our list. Our main focus is the end result. We forget to enjoy the process and our journey or even to celebrate what we just completed and accomplished.

Women are nurtures and caregivers. This is an innate and natural talent that comes easy to most of us. Those of us that are great at giving and are consider givers also have a hard time receiving. Our focus is on the other person and not on ourselves. So how do we begin to focus on ourselves and change this pattern?

Think of the whole airplane oxygen mask thing. We are told to put our oxygen mask on first; that is, take care of ourselves before we put on our child’s oxygen mask. Let’s take a closer look at this situation; by putting our mask on first we can breathe and are relaxed to help our child. By having our oxygen mask on we do not get nervous or fumble. Taking care of ourselves first changes how we feel and how we show up in our world.

The truth is our relationship with our self is the most important relationship in our lives and it impacts everything else in our life. When we do not keep our promises to our self we begin to loose our self respect, our confidence and our self esteem. Begin to keep your promises to yourself. Notice how this one small step; keeping your commitments to your self; changes how you feel. By giving to yourself – you will also allow yourself to receive.

Recently, a friend sent the following quote by Rainer Maria Rilke.

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.”

As mentioned in the quote, the point is to live everything. Live the questions. Live the not knowing. Be present to where you are right now. Stop trying to get everything done and checked off your list. Enjoy the process and the journey of your life. Do something for yourself and notice how you feel. Begin to allow yourself to receive all the wonders and joy that are in your life right now. Focus and enjoy the journey not just the end result. You will live more deeply aware of yourself and what is in your present moment.

So are you looking for something specific to do?  What was your answer to the question at the beginning of this article?  Make that item the first thing you do tomorrow morning. Then notice how you feel and how wonderful the rest of your day unfolds.

By Amy Cook

We count how old our children are; how long we’ve married or divorce; and how long we’ve been at a job.  Yet, how often do we count how long we’ve been parents.  Many of us have been parents longer than we’ve been at our current job.

Now that one of our babies is leaving home, I count.  How many years for me?  This is the beginning of my 25th year – a quarter of a century.  That gives me the right to reflect back.

Dreams – I had a few.  Like going to Machu Picchu and the pyramids; running with the bulls in Pamplona and seeing Venice. (For those 50+, don’t you remember the mother in that cancer commercial that talked about seeing Venice.)  Have I done any of those?  No.  Do I regret?  No – well maybe – at least Venice.

What I’ve done is:
• brushed hair 4015 times before being told, “I’m too big for that now”;
• driven 21 First Days to school, hiding both tears of joys and smiles of relief;
• shopped for the perfect outfit for first days of school. 

I’ve attended
• orchestra concerts, cross country meets and school musicals;
• helped dress for many a party or prom (my clothes have gone places I’ve never been);
• and listened to many tales of friendships, both girls and boys.  (Where have the days when boys have cooties gone?)

I’ve read
• countless number of bedtime stories – Dr Seuss was the best;
• tucked daughters into bed – even when they were too old for Mom;
• and wiped away tears of joy and sadness. 

If you haven’t been a parent, you wouldn’t understand. 
• Being a parent is all about putting your dreams on hold to nurture young minds;
• buying the extras when the money was saved for mom’s essentials;
• and loosing sleep, because staying a wake til all hours is what Moms do.

You can always tell when you are working with a mom. 
• She can juggle her schedule; your tasks and pick up her kids on time from soccer practice. 
• Flexibility is her middle name. 
• Other notable traits: compassionate heart, intuitive, multi-tasker extraordinaire;
• and a sense of humor that gets her through the most challenging set of circumstances.

Who on tv exemptafies us?  Jada Pinkett-Smith’s character, Christina Hawthorne rocks!  She’s a working medical mom with a teenage daughter and unhappy mother-in-law.  Am I similar?  A working mom who also wants to heal/change the world.  I too have a teenage daughter, actually two, and a mother-in-law – unhappy, well you will have to ask her.  The only difference is my husband is only sick, not dead. 

Hawthorne’s one of my role models; Michael Weston’s mom (Sharon Gless) on Burn Notice is another. 
Though I grew up with June Cleaver and Harriet Nelson.  I’m not big into co-dependent women who put their lives on hold. (Dreams on hold are not the same as lives on home.)

Another favorite is Jane Seymour’s Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.  She too balanced home and career, plus she was based on the life of one of Colorado first doctors.

Why don’t I have any real role models?  Right now, there are too many people struggling on the planet – just making it through the day to day. 

They are focused on struggle and fear;

Or they tell us how to maintain diversity, individuality and materialism.

This isn’t who I am.  My role model embraces community, family and life.  These will be women who can inspire not only me; they inspire our daughters and granddaughters.

Can I be a role model as a mom?  Twenty five years will tell.  When my daughters can look back and say, “I learned that from Mom.”  Then I will feel successful.  Until then, I will still drive carpool for another few years; replenish diminished bank accounts and offer “sage” mom advice when asked for, but never offered.

And when our last daughter leaves home, what will I do?  After twenty nine years, I will retire from being a stay-at-home mom.  Then what?  I can have my dreams -  maybe visit Machu Picchu or the pyramids at Giza and then Venice.  Or I can create a new dream.

Affirmations:

I (your name) am the best mom.
My (your) children listen to me.

Count your affirmations.  Count your days.  Count your dreams.  What truly counts?  That which makes you happy.